Ich bin ein Held

Ich habe ein Dach repariert - ganz alleine.
Ich bin so toll.

haha


Wenn das so weiter geht, enwerfe ich nicht nur mein eigenes Haus sondern baue es auch selbst.

news?

I haven't been here in a while, things changed. Life always changes, but I realised again that I need the right balance. To much - stress, to litte boredom. I enjoy being coaxed out of my habit, but I need a certain routine and structure to function. There are things happening, but are they worth noting? Yes and No. A camping weekend in Glenmalure full of stars, love, friendship, nature, fire, water, sunshines and laughter. Some test and waiting for results. Settling in a job but not a profession. Keeping up encouraging and liferafting to the man on my side who had to take some blow in the past weeks, but still laughs is happy, hearty full of life laughter. Meeting people from the past and home. A most beautiful and touching deep wedding. A website 3/4 done. Sunshine. Humbleness. Fresh veg and lettuce from our sunny, seafacing balcony. And there are many more things to come: Fighting for the things we long for and struggeling not to go under or give up. Homemade Elderflower cordial and jelly. More silverwork. A week at homely shores. A course and development for the man. This last glas of beautiful red wine waiting to be enjoyed before bed. Life is a struggle sometimes - but just great. Or "Grand" as the Irish say. ___ Ich bin eine Weile nicht hier gewesen und es hat sich veraendert. Das Leben aendert sich staendig, aber ich verstehe mehr und mehr das ich die richtige Balance an Veraenderung brauche. Zuviel- Stress, so wenig - Langweile. Ich geniesse es, meine Gewohnheiten aufgeben zu muessen und doch brauch ich ein gewisses Mass an Routine und Struktur um funktionieren zu koennen. Vieles passiert, aber ist es wert aufgeschrieben zu werden? Ja und Nein. Wir waren ein Wochenende zelten, ein Wochenende voller Sterne, Freundschaft, Natur, Feuer, Wasser, Sonne und Lachen. Wir warten auf Untersuchungsergebnisse. Ich gewoehne mich langsame an die Arbeit und es wird doch nie mein Beruf sein. Ich muss noch weiter den Mann an meiner Seite ermutigen und den Kopf ueber Wasser halten, da er in den letzten Wochen ein paar harte Schlaege einstecken musste. Doch er bleibt trotzdem froehlich und lacht viel. Ich habe Menschen aus der Vergangenheit und zu Hause getroffen. Die Webseite ist dreiviertel fertig. Sonne. Demuetigkeit. Bodenstaendigkeit. Frisches Gemuese von unserem sonnigen, dem Meer zugewandtem Balkon. Und noch viele mehr in der Zukunft: Fuer die Dinge die wir lieben kaempfen und versuchen nicht aufzugeben. Hausgemachter Holunderbluetensirup und Gelee. Noch mehr Silverarbeiten. Eine Woche zu Hause. Eine Workshop und Weiterentwicklung fuer den Mann. Das letzte Glas Rotwein, das darauf wartet vor dem Schlafengehen genossen zu werden. Das Leben kann manchmal ganz schoen anstrengend sein - aber es ist grossartig oder "Grand" wie die Iren sagen. Slan! Time for Laba.

life

A bit like a cross country run: Walking the straight road all the times can be rather boring, but constantly avoiding tripping, jumping holes and having to cross streams, can be hard if you can't catch your breath. At the moment, we seem to have the balance...nothing is quite straight forward, but not to challenging that it makes us want to give up. Also I would not mind to sit down, pause and take in my surroundings before heading further. What happens? Health test again (old shoe, hopefully) Settling in corporate world, sort of Creating sidelines for creative outputs Fighting the odds Fighting with shadows Socialising A couple of friends (husband and wife by today) made their own special wedding rings with the help of the skypainter. And yesterday (at one of the most beautiful and meaningful weddings I have ever been) they were presented to a whole chapel full of guest. Everybody hold the rings for some time and gave with them some wishes to the couple before they band of commitment found their final place at the bride and grooms finger. I was so proud of my man for being able to make the couples special day even more special by giving them the opportunity to create and smith their own rings and helping them skillfully along. A tiny bit of magic

I am not a mountain goat

Finally we made it up big Suger Loaf, that feature mountain in the Co.Wicklow countryside.

As it often the case the sun was shining this sunday morning and we left the house early to get ahead the Dublin crowds climbing this 'mountain' on sunny sunday. Also it did not look like it, it only took us half an hour to reach the top, mastering rolling stones and rocks and some thorns.
Well, the view was worth it. Co. Dublin, Co. Wicklow, mountain ranges and glimmering coast line.
It was just beautiful up there in the sunshine, also the wind was icy and my ears nearly froze of. Seriously. From there we could also sea the weather to come for the next hours. Big cloud started pilling up in the far west and we made our way down while it was sunny. The skypainter skipped ahead, light footed and surely did he navigated the rocks, while I slowly mastered the rolly, slippery, slopy mountainside even using my hands for stretches to support me. What can I say, I am not a mountain goat.

After eight years, this height is ticked off too and I was surprised how fast one can be up and down. It looks like it would take longer.

Litte Sugar Loaf will keep its place in my heart so as there is no tourist crowds climbing its heights and the memories from that hill are to precious to be taken over by a bigger version hill.

Witz

Einen Witz erzaehlt der fast 10jaehrige am Kuechentisch:
'Why is Six afraid of Seven?'
'Because Seven eight ("ate") Nine!'

Hehe!

So einfach!

: )

Good days and bad days

Life is mainly giving us good days, sunny and rainy happy together, open heart and head - life is great good days. These kind of days where the world is so large, so amazing, so ...it makes you breathless and quiet and overflowing with life.

The salt in the soup are the every now and then bad days. The days, where it is so hard to except, that there will be no mini us, because nature intended otherwise. These days I am grieving a loss of a life, a dream, a future; I am rolling in self pity for me and for him, because I know it would be so great if it would come true. But despite all the messages and test results we just can't give up hope yet and still sadness for what does not seem to be possible overwhelms me and I am rolling up into myself and hiding from the outside world and go mind and life travelling to distract myself.

These days belong to me as well as all the good days and the grief of these rare days make me so much happier the other days, when a spring in our step and the lifeforce can't be stopped by the struggles of allday life and irish rain clouds. I think, because I love the man next to me so much and I know that our life together is such a precious gift, I would love to give him this present of a future when he might has to go one day and for him to leave himself behind if our ways need to part. We are extensions of each other and are aware of each other as much as when we are apart as being together.

I am also grieving that what life has not intended for us separates us from a lot of close friends as we are not able to follow them on the joyful and stressful and often lamentend pathes of parenthood. There is no intention for this kind of separation on either side, but different outlooks, schedules and thoughts built invisible walls, that are getting harder to overcome.

I walk the ways of my selfpity and grief on these rare days, sometimes only hours. I explore them and sink into them, but then life takes over, joy welcomes me back and I look around me, my love, my home, my friends and family and life is just great.

days flying by

Well, what can I say? Time is racing ahead and I seem to tumble after it.
So much has happened the last days that keeping track in words is not easy and not what I really like to with my now precious time off.

We took beautiful memories and photographs with us leaving the south and west coast after our short holiday stint. The Fastnet B&B in Baltimore is a little treasure with its authentic interior, a hearty, happy and welcoming owner, reasonable prices and one of the best Irish Breakfast I had sofar.

Baltimore - the last 8years I did not make back to this piece of the country where the big adventure started. The landscape gave me a wild welcome with the wind and seaspray hugging me and colours to delight any artists heart. We climbed the rocks and hills and rested on huge, empty , sandy, golden beaches. Water was to cold for swimming so. haha.
Believe it or not the Skypainter never has been there and he enjoyed the days off in the countryside with evenings spend in pubs where the fire crackeled in the fireplaces and fish for the evening dinner was caught the morning. No tourist but us - just a few locals to entertain us with mad stories and sketches from the past and present. Irish gossip. The following days the weather improved and warm spring shine traveled with us along the roads.

And now... now am I back indoors, stock in an office. Giving up what you studied and worked in for years even for a while was harder then expected and the first days doom and gloom and even a bit tearful. But I know its for a limited period and it will help me along the path I am hoping to go. And I am also gaining an insight into the uptil now resisted corporate world.

So weird, the signing in and out, the swipecards, timeclocks, lack of flexibility - an office industry. The good points: free lunches and breakfast, lots of young people (I am counting myself in) to get to know and befriend and a pub just across the office, the seafront at the door and a lot of cheering on.

Still, I have to giggle (haha) about the different language: we are a great team, its all due to you, stick to the policies. And there is so much group pulling: social events you are suppose to take part at.

I am missing my down to earth and in its way honest construction industry and am not happy with having my wings clipped. They now the job is not the most exciting one and they try to keep us cheerful. Fair play. Well the next weeks will show and you never know I might absolutely love. Till then it will pay the bills and learn me (as the Irish say) new things.