blue sky, still blues

I am still having the blues and just burst out in tears for the xtime these days. Better now and concentrating on work.
Missing my old friends, the old times...make new friends I hear you saying. Well I am, but they are busy with there own family life and its hard to fit into that if you have no kids. Be creative I hear you saying. Well, the bleakness absorbs all drive and lust for life at the moment. All excuses I hear you say. And you know what, you are damn right. Reiss dich zusammen, I tell myself, but you know what I am missing right now, somebody I can tell all my worries and sorrows, somebody who is not to close to me, somebody I will not hurt by doing so, somebody who will not dismiss me. Tell god I hear somebody saying. But god is not a person to me, god is energy, spirit and life, something that is, something that is around and in me, but not somebody I can address.
I am feeling bad, because my husband can't help me right now, it has nothing to do with him. Somehow my balance has shifted and got stuck crooked. Have to find the inner me again, my lust in life, my little joys.