bluer then blue

deep deep blue fast depression.
and its all about me and my bad side.

So if you don't want to read about whining and winching, leave this page now.

summarising:

on the minus side:

30 and
pcos
missing periods
pay cut
low salary on which two people have to do with
bleak outlook
why do people with no degree and hardly any experience get offered twice my salary just because the job has to do with banking and insurances
constantly rainy weather
lots of hospital stays for the other part


okay okay to be fair
the big plus side:

the skypainter (nearly makes up for all the minuses)
living abroad
one salary
still having my job
wedding
its only pcos

I definitely have to work on an more optimistic way of looking at life and should not forget all the good sides my life has.

One thing learned and please if you are still in school write this behind your ears.
Results in school don't indicate at all how you will turn your life around, how satisfied, happy and successful you will be.

And if I hear one more time the words: but we were so proud of you - there might be fatalities.


I don't get it why do I have such a bad mood today after such a loving, strong, sunny weekend?
My batteries should be charged, but they feel empty.